I just spent some time online researching rough and tumble play. It runs out that the boys are pretty normal. Sam is experiencing a typical four year old surge of testosterone. Their joy over their games indicates that it is not real aggression and the constant touching each other is fulfilling their needs to be touched. (if they really need that much touching, why won't they allow me to smother them in kisses?).
All it seems that I need to do is remind the boys what kind of touching is appropriate (no punching or biting) and make sure both kids are enjoying it. I am relieved by this research, but still totally befuddled by boys. Anyone have any raising boys how to book suggestions?
Right now I'm at the jumpy place letting Sam burn off some rough and tumble energy on soft bouncy things. And then I will attempt further smothering of kisses.