Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Better, but Hot and Irritated

I am doing better. Everyday I feel better. I need less pain meds and I hurt less. My incisions are healing and the swelling is way down. I am still exhausted. I need one or two naps to make it through the day and I'm still exhausted by 6pm. That's probably the worst of it physically, is the exhaustion, but I know I'm getting better.
The menopause thing is kicking my butt. Hot flashes are awful and unpreventable. I go from being just fine to sweltering. I sweat all over and people seem to not notice and want to continue on as they were while I need to stop and stand in the refrigerator. I am also extremely irritated and emotional. You know that icky feeling you get inside when you've messed up or hurt someone's feelings or had really bad news? That's the feeling i have all day long. It sits like a lump in my throat. This vague sense that something is wrong and bad. And I'm on the verge of tears. And my temper is short. The doctor said I could have hormones in as short as two weeks but that if I could, the best thing for my body would be to hold on for three months. I'll hold on as long as I can, but I can't imagine feeling this way for three months. Plus I might not have any friends left. Or a husband.
Speaking of husbands, mine is trying really hard. Really hard. He is a wonderful husband and has been doing everything. But he is getting super stressed out with trying to do his full time job and also transport the kids to and from school and to all their lessons and keep the house clean and take care of feeding and cleaning up after us. It is all taking it's toll. I am trying to help as much as possible without pushing too hard. it's been tricky the last few days and we are all anxious for me to feel better as soon as possible.
I am going to try to pick up the kids tomorrow and ease back into our routine. I'll drive as necessary and then rest through the weekend and then hopefully swing back into life on Monday. I'll be glad to go back to work and get out a bit. I've missed my dad and I really want to help my mom. She is so, so busy and I'd rather be a help than a burden. I also want to get out of the house. I haven't left the house since I got back from the hospital on Friday and I'm ready to venture out a bit. I'm going to go to book group tonight, (here on the ranch at Linda's) for a short time if I can and I know that will do me good.
My friends have still been bringing us meals and supplying us with dinner and it has been wonderful. We have eaten so well and it so fun to get to see what we'll be eating each day. It has been a huge help to us. i'll be sad when it's over. ;)
And that's that. Hopefully the next post will be more upbeat and have exciting tales to tell. We'll see.

1 comment:

cheris said...

Ugh! I'm so sorry! It's just not fair how much hormones rule our mental health (not to mention physical). Please don't push yourself! I know you're both used to doing a million things all the time, but can you let some stuff go? Does the house have to be totally clean? Can you ask someone to pick up the kids? Can you get fast food once in a while? Eat off paper plates? Skip the boys' bath?
Also, don't forget that no one is mad at you. ;) (Except maybe the kids, but they're always mad at us, because we are their moms)