Home Town

I was driving around downtown San Marcos today and noticed a set of parents with their college aged daughter. I imagine they were getting her settled before they left her to her first year of college. It got me thinking.
Was this her first choice? Where is she from? What does this town look like to an outsider?
I moved here when I was three. I went to kindergarten through 12th grade in public school here in this town. My mother went to the same schools. Everyone knows my parents and my grandparents.
It is a small town. An example. The other morning a truck went through our fence. The people who just put in new fences on the ranch got a call from someone who witnessed the accident and who knew they had just done our fence. The fence people were informed about the accident. They then called my grandfather and told him that this fence was damaged (he hadn't been notified yet) and that they would be by in a few minutes to fix it.
When I was in high school I was ALL DONE with this town. I wasn't happy and I didn't fit in and I didn't like the label that I carried. When you grow up in a small town with only one middle school, one junior high and one high school, there is no chance to start fresh. I needed to start fresh. I was ready to will myself out of there.
I applied to six universities all out of state. I was one of only three or four people who did go out of state if I remember correctly. I wanted to get out and become somebody. Go to NYU, become a broadway star and occasionally come back and visit the folks.
And now I'm here. And I'm happy. I chased those dreams and succeeded somewhat and quit and found a different direction. A direction that led me directly to the place where I began. My hometown.
I'm a stay at home mom with two children living on the ranch where I grew up. My children will go to the local public schools representing the third generation of this family. This is a great thing. But it's also kind of weird.
I'm happy. I love my life and where I am. It's fun to explore this town as an outsider returning home. It's fun to see the town from an adult's perspective instead of a child's.
But sometimes I feel like I have to explain myself to my inner eighteen year old. I have to promise her that we will travel A LOT. That we will show the kids more than this town. That I accomplished enough of her dreams and am now living out my own. That I am not that girl anymore and that I am doing more than recreating my own childhood.
I'm looking forward to embracing my hometown. Looking forward to putting down new roots with my husband and weaving them among the ones already there. I'm looking forward to reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. I'm enjoying the charm of this place and finding my new place within it. I think I'm ready to forgive and forget and rekindle a love affair with my new-old Home Town.