Living in Munchkinland

We are racing to catch up on technology around here. School is STEM and revolves around technology. Davis does 100% of his homework and school work on his laptop. Samuel doesn't have his own laptop, but uses one at school. We have a very steep learning curve here. Davis has three honors classes and has so much homework each night. Usually 2.5 hours is our average. Sometimes he'll do homework from 4-8PM. Part of this is actual work. Part of it is learning the technology. Learning to toggle between websites, cut and paste, download, save, file, use google, use microsoft office, check email. And he types sooooooooooo slooooooooooooooowly. He hunts and pecks. He hits his head and announces that his brain has stopped working. He cries. I cry. Michael goes down to his office to avoid crying. Even band homework is done on the computer. He had download Sibelius and then download his pieces and then record himself practicing and then upload the practicing files to his...

I'm tired. Every day. You know how I mentioned before that I never know in the moment that I'm grieving, or hurting or needing help. Well, it's still true. I look back at my past behavior and in the moment, it seemed fine- manageable- a blip. But in retrospective- not normal. Crying through church. Curling up in Sam's bed at the top of the house to hide. Avoiding most types music, TV and books. And then there's this weird physical stuff that's happening to me. I'm clenching my jaw. I'm clenching so hard I don't know how to release it now. I have lock jaw. For real. And my tongue is too big and doesn't fit in my mouth. I can't remember where you put your tongue when you are relaxed? Where does it go??? And I have these tiny bumps that feel like splinters on my finger tips. I don't have a doctor here yet so I googled and it looks like stress related eczema? It's weird. And painful. I keep forgetting things and losin...

We had an epic week of birthday celebration for Michael's 45th birthday. His actual birthday was on Thursday, but we partied all week long. On Tuesday, Michael and I grabbed an Uber and went across town to do a Rose wine tasting dinner at Root Down. The food and wine were absolutely amazing! We had to share a table with a very nice couple, but they were not interested in talking to each other at all, only us. Michael was fine with that, but I would have preferred some date night chatting with just the two of us. Still, the food and wine were perfection and our table mates were very nice. We had a good time. Thursday we woke up and gave Michael coffee and many presents. He was happy. We gave him Seafares (a Catan expansion), a new suitcase, two pairs of pants and the new Harry Potter book. Both our parents chipped in on a fabulous new PA system for our outdoor movie screen. He was WAY gifted. That afternoon after school we had homemade Texas sheet cake which was deli...

This weekend was full of beautiful weather and living in the now. I had a lovely crisp, cold evening where we built our first fire in the fireplace and all read our individual books, together, in the living room. Our Saturday dawned with amazing sunshine and cool breezes and we drove down to Castle Rock to the REI Soiree and the kids rode mountain bikes on the trails and I sat on a blanket and sipped a local beer and listened to the free concert. That evening I cried and tried to get through an Alamo screening of Pete's Dragon, which the kids loved, but which made me indescribably homesick for my dad. I got sippy and morose on my friend Suzy's couch while tiki torches glowed outside the open door on a perfect night and the kids huddled in their shed watching Ant Man and the men sipped beer. I sang in the choir on Sunday and then shucked off my church clothes into light cotton in order to survive the intense sunny day. The kids wrestled in the yards of the neighborhoo...

I'm doing okay. Some days are good and some days are hard. I try not to dwell on the hard things. I think of my dad some times. I can think of moments or stories with him it. I can see flashes of him in me and the kids and appreciate them. I can remember him with pride. But I can NOT contemplate that he is gone. Whenever I have those thoughts I resolutely refuse to follow my thoughts down that path. I just refuse to think about it. It's like looking over the precipice into a big dark bottomless grief pit and so I step back. I get busy. I do not engage. So that is all I will say on that. I do know that I am very glad this summer is coming to a close. It has truly been a summer of transition. And it has been hard. Sometimes I think back to the last year and I remember thinking that I didn't want to make too big a fuss or use up too much sympathy. I felt like I should cover up and stay positive and enjoy the moment. So I did. I complained about how people who...

It has been so amazing having Michael home for two weeks in a row. We felt like a family. We felt like a family that actually lives here. He is gone again this week, but it was lovely when he was here. Last weekend we took the kids to Brickiest, stopped at a car show (I sat in soft grass and read), had lunch out twice, went to church went to a church picnic, repainted our front door, played ping pong, hosted the neighborhood children for movie night and generally enjoyed each other and our new home and our temperate climate. Sunday I went out with my neighbor Suzy and met up with my real estate agent/new friend and her partner and we went out to dinner and then out to Red Rocks to see my favorite singer/songwriter Brandi Carlile. She was fabulous and it was a fabulous venue to see her in. I was exhausted the next day, but it was worth it. We have finished our first week of school here and it is going okay. Adjustment to middle school and all that entails is on going, but Davi...

Martha and Clark came and stayed with us for a week. It was so nice to have them come see our new home and share our new space. They got to tour the kids' school, visit our church, shop in our grocery store and watch the kids play tennis. We also had many wonderful adventures together. Having them as visitors enabled us to behave like tourists in our new town. We took the light rail to the Museum of Nature and Science. It's a great museum. We had lunch there, saw an imax on National Parks, explored the space and gems and dinosaur galleries. Michael met us there at the end of his work day and we took the bus to the 16th street Mall, where we wandered and played and then had dinner at Euclid Hall. The next day we drove about 45 minutes into the mountains the picture book adorable town of Georgetown. We took the steam train through the pass and did an amazing mine tour and panned for gold. We walked up and down the tiny adorable main street and then came home. This wa...